So my parents told me that there's a 50% possibility that i might be going back to Philippines & continue my studies there from next year onwards.. 50%. Means that the chances are quite high. Who knows? I might stay & go on with my complicated life in Singapore.. or live a perfectly easy-going life back in the Phils.. but i'll be lonely there though. But.. in a way or another, money buys happiness. But money can't buy the fact that all my friends will be here in singapore and i'll be stuck in philippines like some awkward turtle. Oh well. That's life sometimes. Good things come to an end.
Anyway, nothing's confirmed yet. But if i have to go back even though it's not really THAT urgent yet.. i think i'd volunteer to go. I don't wanna live like this for the rest of my life. It's too hard for me.. And my family's suffering from paying all the expensive fees & shit and i don't like the fact that they're stressing themselves so much just to raise me here in singapore. I mean.. it'd be so much more easier for both me, my friends, and my family if i just move back to my own country. Am i right? And yes.. tbh, the only thing that's keeping me back is my close friends and my family. Idk how to live without my family. blahblahblah i know i talk back sometimes thinking i'm Little Ms Know-It-All, but no. I don't know shit about survival. I'm so unexperienced & i need someone to guide me. Oh on the brighter side, all my cousins (those i grew up with) are in philippines. Haha they're my bestfriends since birth. I just love them to bits EVEN THOUGH I'M THE ELDEST GIRL there. >< Oh well. And my older cousin (who's a brainiac) could give me study tips & etc. He's cool. :> Hahaha, and most of my relatives are there too! AND LOOK ON THE BRIGHTEST OF THE BRIGHTER SIDE!! If i go back, i won't feel so.. disgusting & ashamed of myself anymore! XD HAHAHA. Haiz, i keep thinking of the brighter side.. but there's some sad things that will happen if i leave..
*krik krik krik*
AHAHA KIDDING. Erm, i'll leave my friends.. my dance crew.. my future friends (lol).. Hais..
haha if you think i'm not going through alot of things, just stfu okay? you don't know shit. Anyway.. it's not like i'm suffering as much as those.. in africa or other countries who don't even have homes. Hais... *think positive!* There'll always be someone who'd rather be in your position.
okay so anyway, idk what will happen in a few months time. let's just hope for the best.. And tbh, idk what i want. I wanna go back to my country for some reasons, but at the same time, i want to stay.. but if my parents asks me to go back, i won't try to convince them anymore because they know what's best for me more than i do.. because idk what i want anymore.
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