unwanted & useless.

Hey guys. So i'll just blurt out how i'm truly feeling about all the complications that are happening around me.

1: I'm jealous.
2: I'm in a dilemma.
3: I'm stressed.

I'll talk about my jealousy first because.. it's more on how I am feeling. It kinda have the most negative impact on me.
Okay. So i'm very close to one of my closest friends, and now, she's my.. bestfriend/closest friend. But i can't help but feel jealous because when there's this other girl, she seem to care about her more than she does about me. And what makes me even more sad is that i've always been by her side ever since all these complications start. And now, i feel like she's.. unappreciative of me. And trust me, this feeling sucks like hell. I feel like another extra. And here's something about me.. I hate feeling extra. [when i'm an odd one out, i'll automatically feel extra. can't help it.] So yeah. I'd just shut up because i feel so extra & i'd rather shut my trap than to talk to people who are unwilling to talk to me. Erm, do you get what i mean? If no, then nvm. I just need to rant about how i'm feeling, and if you can't relate to my situation, then it's fine. I'm doing this for the sake of voicing out because i don't think no one actually cares about how i feel sometimes.. and i suck at expressing myself in person. I'll just stone there like some dumbcake & starts tearing. Haha yes, i suck alot. I know.

Anyway, as i was saying, i feel so unappreciated. And how my bestfriend/closest friend always ask for the other girl.. it makes me feel so.. insecure. I bet she doesn't ask around for me like that.
And she keeps saying stuffs like "(other girl's name) means the world to me". I mean cmon.. i feel like shit whenever you say that. Because YOU mean the most to me right now. Idk why.
Urgh you know what? i'll just shut my mouth & see how things go.

I feel so unwanted & useless.