abysm

I guess this is my weeping moment.

Judge me if you must, but this is my blog;

my emotions- my side of the story. mine. 

I'm not usually this morbid, 

but i'm radically impotent to do anything about it. 

Everything I do ends up being misguided.

Even when I keep all my emotions within me and not say a word,

I'm still the felon. 

I don't know what to do anymore. 

I have an abundant number of thoughts-

just lingering around my peanut of a brain. 

Why must I be so prone to getting hurt? 

It sucks, because it's so unfair for me. 

What did i ever do to deserve going through this excruciating pain over and over?

My heart is literally aching every millisecond.

It feels like an agonizing puncture in my heart. 

I feel so weak getting affected by the sliiiightest things.

However, you, probably deem them insignificant. 

That's the problem, you see. 

The typical human being would reckon my problems insubstantial.

You have your own opinions and I've got mine- I know that.

However, don't just presume my feelings are negligible if you were to 

"put yourself in my shoes". 

That kind of shit is superficial. 

Okay, I'm going out of point here. 

I guess my main intention of blogging about this is to sort of.. distress myself.

There's literally nobody I can talk to about these sort of things. 

It's simple just too vague. 

What can I say, i'm a very vague person to begin with anyway. 

~

Okay, I'm indisputably helpless.

I honestly thought that typing my most sober thoughts would make me feel better.

It didn't help at all.

I did attempt to talk about this with someone before.

Twice- actually.

This is the 3rd time this is happening.

I'd be a realist and just talk it out, 

but I'm getting tired.

Both physically and mentally.

I know that I'll never feel the same unless I talk it out.

I'm just really... tired.

I am drained out of my wits. 

All i can do is laugh a little, 

brush it all off, 

and say the most infamous lines-

I'm okay. 

That's not okay, 

but it will have to make do. 

                                               

some relatable poetry to seal this post shut. 

~

"I'm walking the sidewalk, 

in the middle of town. 

My head is quite heavy, 

it's pointing straight down.

I do not wish, 

to look straight ahead. 

My body and mind, 

just feels beyond dead.

An intersection, 

I finally reach, 

Where I'm welcomed, 

with a horrible screech.

Right or left, 

I'm asked to choose. 

But I continue along the sidewalk, 

change I refuse.

My sidewalk is covered, 

with sorrow an dirt. 

I'm loyal to this street, 

it's simply called hurt.

As I continue, 

my pain sadly grows. 

The shoes I'm wearing, 

are called blue woes.

There seems like there's no end, 

or slight hope in sight. 

This lonely town, 

forever has night.

It's just so difficult, 

for me to leave. 

As I raise my head, 

I cannot believe.

A rusty sign, 

with the name of the town. 

It reads, "Sad", 

and it's pointing straight down."

goodbye.