So life's been a a living hell for the past.. 7 months or so, and i was actually suffering from depression for those really painful months, despite the fact that i looked really happy & normal when in school.
However, life's literally a living piece of shit to me for the past 4 months, (yep, from the start of the year), and it was caused by the same reason too- but it just got worse, worser and worst.
I'm not gonna lie, there were times when i actually start self-harming and had suicidal thoughts, but it's okay, everyone goes through that for atleast one point in their life- so it's actually normal. This was my first one though. I guess i was just sad, and i couldn't face reality & i've been living in a world full of my self-created hopes (yep, i actually started believing all the hopes i pretend that existed).. well not until all my hopes went down the damn drain within a few minutes of hell.
Anyway, enough of the past. This post is about how i got myself back, even when i thought that i was never gonna be the same again. A part of me died, but little did i know that i'd find my way out of this situation & redeem my old self back. I guess i shouldn't say that i redeemed my old self back.. because.. you know, that "old me" is gone & will never return. Instead, i've become another me. Sure, to most of my friends, i'm the same person they knew because i'm still smiling widely, being hyper/retarded at times and etc, but deep down in my heart, i'm really not the same. The smallest things could affect & hurt me. I became more sensitive. More bitchy.. And my tolerance level for bullshits isn't as high as before. I've turned into another person.. Some people would consider it as "getting stronger", but some would just think of it as "getting bitchier" or whatever. Well, it's up to them whatever they want to think of me. Not like i give a fuck about it anyway. I'm just thankful that the people whom i trust the most never left me before, during & after the shitty period i went through. I'm glad that they could understand what i went through, and how it affects my attitude.
ON THE BRIGHTER SIDE, i'm happy again! Yep, no more sad moments (at least not as much as before), no more crying every night, no more whining, no more sad rants on twitter... LOL JUST KIDDING HAHAHA i would obv still rant on twitter because on twitter.. i say what comes to my mind. Be it when i'm in a bad mood or not, i'll just speak my mind on twitter. Don't ask me why though, i really don't know. I think it's because i don't actually have a certain someone to talk about my life, thus i tell twitter everything! (lol i sound like a loser, but it's ok though since i am one) :D ^^
SO YEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH thank you to all those who have asked me to "cheer up" or "stay strong" or whatnots, i appreciated it, and if it wasn't for you.. well let's just say that i wouldn't be writing this post now alright? ;)
.... HAHAHA life's actually more exciting now. Many good things are coming in my way (i hope)!
And to those who are going through some big shitty thing in your life, then don't bottle it up. Find someone or anyone who cares about you who is trustable & dependable. Don't do anything really stupid though, it won't be worth it! :)
OKAY IDK WHAT TO SAY NOW SO.... YEP, GOODBYE & HAVE A NICE DAY!!! :D
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