There was this girl. She was a sad & miserable girl. She was really sad but nobody actually knew. She kept a really strong font so no one would ask her about it. She was sad & miserable because she couldn't forget the day when she let go of someone whom she hold truly deep in her heart. However, after a year or so, she met someone. She met an innocent boy who seems harmless and they both became friends. They became good friends, then best friends. They talked 24/7 everyday. Soon after, the boy confessed & told her that he likes her, the girl confessed that she had a spark for him, but the boy told her that he wants it to be more. Both of them grew closer & closer & they started becoming really sweet towards each other. The boy asked her to be his girlfriend, but she rejected even though she loved him so. She wasn't ready to commit herself into him because she was unsure that things would work out properly. They agreed to be 'friends with benefits' or whatever they call it, but they acted like a couple, except that it was a secret & it wasn't official. After a while, the communications started to become lesser, & they started drifting apart. After that, the boy's handphone got confiscated, & they didn't talk at all. They celebrate their fake monthsary every month, but it has been 2 months since the boy's phone got confiscated, & they don't wish each other anymore. They don't even talk to each other anymore. The boy stopped replying her messages, and he ignored her when she said hi to him in school. The girl is now wants to give up. She's even more miserable than when she let go of someone a year ago. She was really as miserable as any other broken-hearted girls, or maybe worse than that. She feels cheated, & sometimes, she just feel like ending her life. But no, she realised that life have many more beautiful things in the future. But right now, she's suffering alot. Nobody knows how much she's suffering. She's really really sad. She doesn't know what to do anymore. She's willing to do anything and everything to get him back, if that's impossible, then she's willing to do everything she can to forget him because she's really tired of staying up very late, thinking about all the good times they had together. She cries herself to sleep every single day. She doesn't know who to rant all her feelings anymore because she feels like she's bothering everyone when she does. She can't stand to lose him, but i think she already did. I wonder when all her suffering will end. I don't think she deserves all this sadness. All she did was love. She misses him. She misses him alot. She doesn't know how to move on or whatever. She keeps putting up this fake happiness and hyperness whenever he's around. Either that, or she keeps quiet.
All she want is to be happy again. And she have never felt happier than when he was still by her side.
~
After half a year, the girl found out the truth, she found out that he's been over her for a long time. She was just too blinded by all her hopes. Now, all her hopes went crashing down the drain, and along with her hopes was her old self. Her optimism, love, faithfulness and happiness went along with her hopes. She's now as good as dead since she's already dead on the inside. She wonders if the old her will ever come back.. But it was her choice to move on this way. She decided to build walls around her heart, her black & stoned heart. She decided to never love and trust anyone again as she's been through hell and she's not strong enough to go through it once more. She's putting up a tough act from now onwards, and if you see her walk by, you'll probably see her once brightest smile, but now it's just a smile plastered on her face. A broken, half-hearted smile. Some may notice, but eventually they'll think nothing about it. She's turning more narrow-minded and less nicer. She's basically turning into someone she would have despised herself..
But she can't help it. Love turned her into this. She will remain this way. The girl we all used to know. The girl with the broken smile. The girl who's now dead on the inside.
Is there any chance that she could regain her old self back?
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