it's so funny how things can affect you, hurt you or hell, even destroy you - but only at the moment
isn't it funny?
how we put in so much effort thinking about whatever shitty situation you've gotten yourself into.
the number of seconds, minutes, hours, days, WEEKS you spend just thinking about the same damn shit which, if you actually think it through, has ZERO effect on you in the future. by future, it could mean 3 months, 6, 9, a year, 2 years and so on. It depends.
yet, we still choose to let it affect us.
i still let it affect me. maybe not severely, but enough to ruin my mood and piss me off out of the blue.
good news is, i'm learning though. i'm trying and i'm learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning learning.
is it learnt or learned?
i'm still learning to focus on the good stuff. how do people do it so easily? how do they able to ignore the shitty stuff that comes with life? how how how how how?
please don't hit me with that "think positive, focus on the good things you have. appreciate them. if you're already appreciating them, appreciate them even more. appreciate them so fucking hard your heart is filled with gratitude." please give me the solution, NOT the outcome because uh.. tell me something i can actually do. like physically. focusing ain't a good advice for people like me who can't focus on one thing for shit. how can i focus on one thing when there's a constant typhoon going on in my brain? honestly, i have no idea what i'm talking about because well um i'm kindly typing my thoughts as it comes so like everything i'm typing is impromptu as hell.
three minutes after typing this shitty advice, "think positive, focus on the good things you have. appreciate them. if you're already appreciating them, appreciate them even more. appreciate them so fucking hard your heart is filled with gratitude", i came to realise that HEY that last sentence kinda makes sense. yes i know what i said in the previous paragraph and i know that what i'm saying in this paragraph seems like the total opposite. well, it might be. could be. probably.
like i said, i'm typing every thought as it is. if you're a dumbass, that means everything i'm saying right now is not 100% accurate as i'm not thinking of what i'm saying. i don't even know if anything i'm saying makes sense.
hi i'm carla's subconscicous, pleasure to meet you. you know that voice inside your head? yes that's me. i'm the one typing.
okay this is getting slightly out of hand.
ummmmm...
i'll probably regret publishing this tomorrow because i sound like the dumbest piece of shit on earth.
- 10 minutes later -
totally lost my mood to talk further.
ciao~~!
PS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! MANY THX 2 U FOR KEEPING MY LOVED ONES SAFE!

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